Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Video :: game


2. Fantasy :: reading


3. Homework :: experiance


4. Crush :: crumbles


5. Late :: hour


6. Husband :: trust


7. Soccer :: football!


8. Wine :: tasting


9. Before :: after


10. Romantic :: comedy

Saffron Lemon Crisps

im going to mix these today and bake them tomorrow! saffron is the best ingrediant that ever existed. :)


Makes about 20 biscuits (cookies).

60g unsalted butter, diced
100g golden caster sugar (although i will mix half/half caster sugar and muscavado, because my store cupboard doesnt need another type of sugar in it!)
1/2 medium egg, beaten
10-15 saffron filaments, ground and blended with 1tsp boiling water
finely grated zest of 1 lemon
50g ground almonds
70g plain flour, sifted
1/2 tsp baking powder, sifted
1/4 tsp sea salt

cream butter and sugar, then beat in egg, saffron, and lemon zest.
add almonds, flour, baking powder and salt.
cover and chill overnight.

preheat oven to 200C/400F. roll dough into cherry-sized balls, place well apart on two buttered baking sheets. bake 12 minutes, but check after 10. immediatly tansfer to a wire rack to cool.

these will keep for several days in an airtight container - if you dont eat them all in one sitting!

cooking made me sad

today I had to cook a whole chicken, becose money isn’t lasting enough and we couldn’t afford to buy the breast meat only like normal and whole birds are cheap. I don’t really like handling meat and I prefer it to be in pieces and frozen so that it isn’t like meat. well after the chicken was cooked and cooled down I had to take the meat off the bone, and I didn’t know it was going to make me so sad. I started crying about half way through and a big had to finish for me. I don’t know why I get so upset but it was horrible. at one point I broke off a leg and it broke so easily I wondered do chicken legs always dislocate so easily? I didn’t like the feel of the meat and I didn’t like the feel of the bones dislocating. they said they’d do it next time if we have to get whole ones again. I want to be on the veggietrain now.

Great Pretenders

If you had to eliminate one emotion from your life, which would it be? Elaborate, please.

its funny that this question is asked today, becose not long ago i was listening to some conversations about which sense would be the worst to lost and best to keep, and this is a similar question.

if i had to eliminate one emotion, it wouldnt be hard to chose which one i dont think. i am thinking i would eliminate anger. anger is the worst i think and the hardest to watch and feel. i dont get angry much but i see it sometimes and sometimes i do feel it a little, and regular fear is nothing like the fear i feel when there is anger around. anger scares me silly and i dont think we need it. fear can keep you safe and jealousy can keep you aiming for better things. jealousy isnt a positive emotion at all but anger is much worse. i think anger is a part of jealousy. the part that makes you act against another person. i have felt jealous sometimes, but it isnt terrible like anger is. fear isnt nice but fear gives you safety and humility i think. so if it was only for me or if it was for all the world, anger is the emotion i would chose to eliminate. it is the one emotion that makes people do the worst things.

Question of the Day

What do you think is the most soothing sound?

well i know that the scientists say that the heartbeat is the most soothing sound becose its what we heard in the womb, but i think that maybe when we get bigger, then the most soothing sound can change. i havent heard a heartbeat in a long time so i dont know if thats still the most soothing sound for me. what i like most to listen to is summertime with my eyes closed. i like hearing the rustling of the green leaves in a little breeze, and people playing outdoor games. if there are waves going too then thats nice, but we dont go to the beach a lot. i really like laying and listening to summer. i think thats the most soothing sound for me.

Daydreaming On Paper

Describe your vision of utopia.

i’ve had this question in my folder for ages waiting to rite something nice. i cant think of what utopia is for me. one of the dictionary descriptions is “An impractical, idealistic scheme for social and political reform.” when i read it my thoughts changed really quickly. i was thinking about a temperate and beautiful world with plenty of food and nobody is richer or poorer than anyone else. reading this description i wonder about why it would be impractical. if there was such a thing as utopia why wouldn’t that be practical? is it becose of industry? is it that utopia would mean nobody needs to work so there is no industry? i think i can see why that would be impractical, but what if we each made our own shelter and there was a abundance of nuts and fruits so that we didn’t need to kill to eat. why would industry be needed? i wonder who rote this definition. i wonder if it was one person or if it was voted on in a government setting or something. i guess utopia would mean no wars or anything, but i don’t know if it would mean no governments. maybe it would be a peoples republic. does there have to be somebody making decsions for the rest of the world or continent or whatever? my utopia wouldn’t have borders or boundaries so how would that government work? is it still idealistic and can we have a world where everyone is free? i suppose then murderers would get away with murder if there wasn’t a government, but it tells me to describe :my: vision of utopia, and the gene or hormone that makes people want to kill wont exist. we wouldn’t be bothered about boundaries like a pack of wolves or tigers are although we would respect their markings. maybe we would live like advanced apes, free but we’ll have communication, and be able to make musical instruments. we wouldn’t want to make weapons, other than to defend ourselves from wild animals. why does it have to be human nature to be competitive? becose we made tools and then instruments, but making tools made us think we were better than each other and we’d fite for land and game and girls. it’s horrible. why cant we have skills that we only use for peace and good? my utopia would be like that. it would be beautiful with red sunsets every night, storms once a month to keep the land lush and green, and we couldn’t and wouldnt use enough wood to make a dent in the climate. is this all impractical? well that’s why wishes don’t come true.

The Creature In The Case

i just got a book for 1p! it's by garth nix, and it is a short story that follows on from my 3 favourite novels, sabriel, lireal and abhorsen. its only 108 pages where the novels were over 500 pages, but im still excited to have it. i will be taking it to read on the train or plane. :)

Star Wars

the castle project are taking some of us to see star wars today. i hope to see it, but it is a 12 so the bigs said i have to "wait and see" if im allowed to watch too. im normally allowed to see 12's so i think i mite be allowed. :) i bet its good!