the sound of paper

Unconscious Mutterings

2006-07-16T08:31:00.000Z

I say ... and you think ... ?

Video :: game

Fantasy :: reading

Homework :: experiance

Crush :: crumbles

Late :: hour

Husband :: trust

Soccer :: football!

Wine :: tasting

Before :: after

Romantic :: comedy

Saffron Lemon Crisps

2006-07-16T08:05:00.000Z

im going to mix these today and bake them tomorrow! saffron is the best ingrediant that ever existed. :)

Makes about 20 biscuits (cookies).

60g unsalted butter, diced
100g golden caster sugar (although i will mix half/half caster sugar and muscavado, because my store cupboard doesnt need another type of sugar in it!)
1/2 medium egg, beaten
10-15 saffron filaments, ground and blended with 1tsp boiling water
finely grated zest of 1 lemon
50g ground almonds
70g plain flour, sifted
1/2 tsp baking powder, sifted
1/4 tsp sea salt

cream butter and sugar, then beat in egg, saffron, and lemon zest.
add almonds, flour, baking powder and salt.
cover and chill overnight.

preheat oven to 200C/400F. roll dough into cherry-sized balls, place well apart on two buttered baking sheets. bake 12 minutes, but check after 10. immediatly tansfer to a wire rack to cool.

these will keep for several days in an airtight container - if you dont eat them all in one sitting!

cooking made me sad

2006-01-23T00:22:00.000Z

today I had to cook a whole chicken, becose money isn’t lasting enough and we couldn’t afford to buy the breast meat only like normal and whole birds are cheap. I don’t really like handling meat and I prefer it to be in pieces and frozen so that it isn’t like meat. well after the chicken was cooked and cooled down I had to take the meat off the bone, and I didn’t know it was going to make me so sad. I started crying about half way through and a big had to finish for me. I don’t know why I get so upset but it was horrible. at one point I broke off a leg and it broke so easily I wondered do chicken legs always dislocate so easily? I didn’t like the feel of the meat and I didn’t like the feel of the bones dislocating. they said they’d do it next time if we have to get whole ones again. I want to be on the veggietrain now.

Great Pretenders

2006-01-15T00:00:00.000Z

If you had to eliminate one emotion from your life, which would it be? Elaborate, please.

its funny that this question is asked today, becose not long ago i was listening to some conversations about which sense would be the worst to lost and best to keep, and this is a similar question.

if i had to eliminate one emotion, it wouldnt be hard to chose which one i dont think. i am thinking i would eliminate anger. anger is the worst i think and the hardest to watch and feel. i dont get angry much but i see it sometimes and sometimes i do feel it a little, and regular fear is nothing like the fear i feel when there is anger around. anger scares me silly and i dont think we need it. fear can keep you safe and jealousy can keep you aiming for better things. jealousy isnt a positive emotion at all but anger is much worse. i think anger is a part of jealousy. the part that makes you act against another person. i have felt jealous sometimes, but it isnt terrible like anger is. fear isnt nice but fear gives you safety and humility i think. so if it was only for me or if it was for all the world, anger is the emotion i would chose to eliminate. it is the one emotion that makes people do the worst things.

Question of the Day

2006-01-07T13:19:00.000Z

What do you think is the most soothing sound?

well i know that the scientists say that the heartbeat is the most soothing sound becose its what we heard in the womb, but i think that maybe when we get bigger, then the most soothing sound can change. i havent heard a heartbeat in a long time so i dont know if thats still the most soothing sound for me. what i like most to listen to is summertime with my eyes closed. i like hearing the rustling of the green leaves in a little breeze, and people playing outdoor games. if there are waves going too then thats nice, but we dont go to the beach a lot. i really like laying and listening to summer. i think thats the most soothing sound for me.

Daydreaming On Paper

2005-07-30T21:11:00.000Z

Describe your vision of utopia.

i’ve had this question in my folder for ages waiting to rite something nice. i cant think of what utopia is for me. one of the dictionary descriptions is “An impractical, idealistic scheme for social and political reform.” when i read it my thoughts changed really quickly. i was thinking about a temperate and beautiful world with plenty of food and nobody is richer or poorer than anyone else. reading this description i wonder about why it would be impractical. if there was such a thing as utopia why wouldn’t that be practical? is it becose of industry? is it that utopia would mean nobody needs to work so there is no industry? i think i can see why that would be impractical, but what if we each made our own shelter and there was a abundance of nuts and fruits so that we didn’t need to kill to eat. why would industry be needed? i wonder who rote this definition. i wonder if it was one person or if it was voted on in a government setting or something. i guess utopia would mean no wars or anything, but i don’t know if it would mean no governments. maybe it would be a peoples republic. does there have to be somebody making decsions for the rest of the world or continent or whatever? my utopia wouldn’t have borders or boundaries so how would that government work? is it still idealistic and can we have a world where everyone is free? i suppose then murderers would get away with murder if there wasn’t a government, but it tells me to describe :my: vision of utopia, and the gene or hormone that makes people want to kill wont exist. we wouldn’t be bothered about boundaries like a pack of wolves or tigers are although we would respect their markings. maybe we would live like advanced apes, free but we’ll have communication, and be able to make musical instruments. we wouldn’t want to make weapons, other than to defend ourselves from wild animals. why does it have to be human nature to be competitive? becose we made tools and then instruments, but making tools made us think we were better than each other and we’d fite for land and game and girls. it’s horrible. why cant we have skills that we only use for peace and good? my utopia would be like that. it would be beautiful with red sunsets every night, storms once a month to keep the land lush and green, and we couldn’t and wouldnt use enough wood to make a dent in the climate. is this all impractical? well that’s why wishes don’t come true.

The Creature In The Case

2005-06-15T15:42:00.000Z

i just got a book for 1p! it's by garth nix, and it is a short story that follows on from my 3 favourite novels, sabriel, lireal and abhorsen. its only 108 pages where the novels were over 500 pages, but im still excited to have it. i will be taking it to read on the train or plane. :)

Star Wars

2005-06-14T09:07:00.000Z

the castle project are taking some of us to see star wars today. i hope to see it, but it is a 12 so the bigs said i have to "wait and see" if im allowed to watch too. im normally allowed to see 12's so i think i mite be allowed. :) i bet its good!

strawberry cereal is yuk

2005-05-21T08:20:00.000Z

I don’t like that the people who make breakfasts here keep putting dried strawberrys in their mixes. a lot of people like them but I don’t! I think it makes the milk taste curdled like mixing milk and orange juice. we got our normal musile mix that we use as a base to make our own personalised mix, but they changed the recipie and added these dried strawberrys and I didn’t know and now I feel sick! we tried a different strawberry cereal when it first came out and the same thing happened then. I don’t know how people can like it. its not our milk cos we drink it too fast for it to go off most of the time. sometimes I think this body has a malfunction on its tounge becose 3/4 of us middles and littles don’t like strawberry milkshake.

sunday brunch again

2005-05-15T08:48:00.000Z

i just lost my long sunday brunch post. :(

it is my birthday and sunday brunch is about birthdays. but im not excited now cos it took me ages to write that post. i will do it again but i wont be as complete as last time.

1) What is your birthday, what time were you born, what astrological sign are you, and what city and state were you born in?

today. may 15th. i am a taurus.
this body was born in Munster, Germany.

2) Are there any famous events or famous people that share your special day?

there are lots of famous events, and i chose my favourite ones for you and posted them here. but it got lost, so i will just give you the page instead. oh. and now i cant find that page and it was a brilliant page. :( sorry. i remember that the first powered airplane was flown and that it was a steam powered glider, but i cant remember who or which year.

3) What did you do to celebrate your last birthday?

we were in america this time last year with aunt, uncle and gran. the trip was about their 15th wedding anniversry, so i didnt get to celebrate really.

4) What is your best birthday celebration that you can remember?

buying angel, our guinea pig.

5) What is the best birthday present you have ever received?

angel, 2 years ago. :)
picture of angel

Friday Five

2005-05-06T19:39:00.000Z

Friday Five

1. You have the summer and plenty of money to travel abroad. Where all would you go?

i would go to the united states and australia. we have friends in 2 different places in australia, one in a big city and one in a small town. i would love to see them and learn about australia.

in america i would like to go to michigan, illinois, conneticate, and 2 more states that are southern but i cant rememnber which 2, and they are to see our friends again.

oh and if there was time but i dont think there is, i would like to go to copenhagen in denmark again, becose that's a wonderful city and i loved it there. :)

2. What foods would you be sure you got to eat?

vegemite on damper! if im in australia i have to have some australian food.

3. What landmarks would you be sure you got to see?

Uluru and the grand canyon.

4. What airline would you use?

with plenty of money i would still look for a good deal but a good deal travelling buisness instead of cabin. i dont need first class though becose im not greedy.

5. Would your knowledge of other languages influence where you went? (i.e. would you be more likely to go to France if you spoke French?)

i dont speak danish so if we went to copenhangen it wouldnt. it would be fun to learn a little bit if i could. the other places are english speaking.

fridays feast

2004-09-04T21:46:00.000Z

http://fridaysfeast.blogspot.com/

Appetizer If someone gave you 3 new goldfish today, what would you name them? Sabriel, Lireal, Abhorsen.

Soup What's the worst movie you've seen this year so far? Garfield. it wasnt a bad movie at all, but i havent seen any bad ones this year. so it is my least favourite.

Salad If given the chance and you could pick the person, would you want to switch lives with someone on earth for one whole day? Yes, that would be nice. but i dont know who with just now.

Main Course What's your favorite season? Name 2 things you love about it. Spring. 1. is that any winter seeds that i plant will start coming through, and 2. is that it's nice to not have wet socks and frozen toes again.

Dessert What is something you frequently buy that you don't really need? Sweets! :)

friday foofah

2004-07-23T16:08:00.000Z

Parenting

Attachment parenting: raising balanced, loving and stable kids - or a nightmare of clingy, needy brats?
raising balanced, loving and stable kids. we need love to learn how to love. we need hugs to feel secure. otherwise we'll grow up and not know how to have a releationship or relate to other people, or have any compassion.

Nursing: the healthy natural way or an unnecessary pain in the...?
healthy natural way. there are more nutrients in a mothers milk than in any formula. and it also gives more bonding time, which is linked to question 1.

Kids growing up: Great! I can't wait to sit down and have deep discussions with them; or, Sniff, my babies grew up so fast!
oh i wish babies would stop growing at 5 years old. i like them being little and questioning and innocent. most parents ruin their children, so at 5 it's not too late, or they havent developed all the fooey traits.

fridays feast

2004-07-23T16:01:00.000Z

http://fridaysfeast.blogspot.com

Appetizer Name something you've done that made you feel guilty.
i've broken something of someones that was very special to them. they read this blog so i cant say what it is. i feel terrible becose i was and am too scared to tell them it was me. if you think it was yours, you can write to me, and i'll be honest if you're right. i am so sorry. it hurt so bad and now would be a good time to own up, but i still cant. i do feel very guilty.

Soup If you could get rid of one piece of furniture in your house, what would it be, and what would you put in its place?
the metal drawers that hold computer stuff, letters, batteries, camera stuff, head scarfs, documents, and other stuff. there are 2 units on top of each other, and although they are out of the way and blend in just fine, i would prefer a nice wooden tallboy. i've seen some really nice ones out there and i think it would look lovely.

Salad Imagine you've won a contest to be a featured guest on any television sitcom or drama show. On which one would you want to be a guest star?
umm... can i be in the simpsons? thats almost a sitcom. i would like to be in the episode where the simpsons go on holiday to the beach, and lisa makes friends. that was a good one.

Main Course Create a cereal. Tell us what you'd name it and what ingredients would be included.
have you been down the cereal isle at the supermarket? every cereal possible has been made twice! i would have oat/rice flakes, honey coated with chopped nuts, and dates. yummy. it could be called ... honey balance

Dessert Describe the most memorable night of your life so far.
i dont really have one. no nights stick out for good reasons, and i dont want to think about the bad reasons. i have memorable days, and they are days with friends. :)

homework

2004-07-22T00:07:00.000Z

a household meme

Do you recycle? Compost? Reuse household items until no other use can be wrung from them? Why or why not? Do you try any other ways to affect your household's footprint?

we dont have a garden, so we cant compost, but we stack our newspapers and save glass, and every so often take them down to the recycling place down the road. its funny when we take the glass, becose we put it in the basket on our bicycle, and it rattles as we push it down the road. hehehe. we always take bags to the supermarket so we dont need to get many new ones, and the extra we do have, we use to put our rubbish in. we also try to conserve water in the house as much as possible, and in the winter we hang a heavy curtain at the door to keep out drafts to reduce the gas we use.

why do we do this? well in this house we are always watching documentaries, and have learnt enough from them to know that we're putting our future in danger. it also makes us feel good to be able to do our bit. i wish we could do more, but there isnt anywhere to recycle cans and plastic, so they have to go to the dump with the ordinary trash. oh the other thing we do is when we have enough money, buy eco cleaning products. but they cost more so we cant always do that.

heaven and hell

2004-07-18T16:20:00.000Z

If you found out for certain there is a Heaven and a Hell, how would you change your life?
—From "If: Questions for the Game of Life," by Evelyn McFarlane

i didnt want to answer this one, but then thought that maybe this is the kind of thing that i really need to answer. i think that i am good person, and i think i have a good heart. but i dont think that would be enough to get me into heaven. i was never a believer in heaven and hell, or in any gods. but if it was certain, then one of the first things i would do is join a church and talk to the priest. i would ask advice about my life so far and what i should be doing to be a good person in the eyes of god. i would start really learning about religion. i wouldnt dedicate my life to god, but i would dedicate my sundays to him. i would keep the rest of my life as it is, becose i do believe that i am already caring and honest. well, i might change my life after talking to the priest. i would have a lot to learn though becose up until i found out, i was a complete disbeliever. i would need to say sorry about that bit of my life and admit my wrongs to god. but i hope he would forgive that wrong, becose i've never felt him in my heart, or if i did feel him, didnt reconise it as being him. and i hope he would forgive that, becose it's not to late to change.

decorating

2004-07-18T15:46:00.000Z

yesterday and today i have been painting the kitchen! yesterday i did the ceiling, and today i did 2 coats on the walls. i hope that was enough for the walls, becose we dont have enough paint to put a 3rd on every wall. but there's enough to touch up in places if it needs. it looks a little uneven in spots, but i will have to wait for it to dry to see. i chose 'crab shell' as the wall colour, and depending on which wall you look at and the light, it's a pinky-peachy-beige colour. it's a little bit darker than i wanted, and i thought about mixing it with white, but didnt. it's okay though. :) it isnt any darker than the almond colour in the main room. they are actually very similar! but the main room is a silk emulsion, and the kitchen is a matt emulsion that is textured like sand. i really like the texture. it's unusual and it's like a beach hut. hehehe.

if the walls are fine tomorrow, then i will hang the blinds, and put things back. i still need to paint the woodwork and windowsills, but that will be next weekend, i think. i dont think we have time tomorrow. the windowsills will contrast in texture with the walls, becose i will gloss them like the woodwork, but then i am puting a mother-of-pearl top coat on to give it a pretty sheen. :) then the windowsills will hold glass bottles and jars, stones, and my orange tree. we have 2 windows in the kitchen facing east and south, so it gets a lot of light.

we will order pizza for dinner now, just like yesterday! becose it's not nice to cook in a wet-walled kitchen, and everything isnt in place, and the cooker is on the middle of the room. and also becose i just love pizza and i deserve it! the bigs did help, espicially with moving things and the high bits, but relly it was all my job. becose it's my kitchen! hehehe i like saying that. :) i have my own kitchen! there should be a sign saying "samanthas kitchen" on the door. hehehe.

brain storm

2004-07-18T13:33:00.000Z

#9: ALL ABOUT YOU!!!

What is your astrological sign?
taurus

What state were you born in?
i wasn't born in the US!

What nationality are you?
british

What are your three favorite pass times?
reading, writing, textile crafts

What do you do for work?
i can't work

Do you own a pet? If so tell us about it/them.
we have three guinea pigs. Angel was our first, and when we got him, we thought he was a girl. a little bit later, something popped out, and we saw he was a boy. Angel used to be a mommy's boy, but lately he has become more independent. he has a white body, and a white/black/brown face. he has the longest hair of all three. Angel shares a pen with Cassius.

we got Cassius to keep Angel company. Cassius is a TSW (tortoise shell white), and he has fairly long hair. he really is a mommy's boy, and loves to be cuddled for hours. he will let you know how much he loves it too, as he talks to you constantly while you stroke him. Cassius doesnt like Issac, though.

Isaac was our thrird guinea pig, and we got him a few months later. he is a dark brown teddy/rex (im not sure which). that means his hair is short, curly and has a wirery texture. he has a little spot of white on his head, and his bootom lip down his chest is split with a line of white. he also has a single white paw that makes him look like he stepped in flour! Isaac has his own friend called Megan, and she's a stuffed dog that he often sleeps next to, or rests his head on.

my younger brother also has 2 mice. the grey/white girl is called Biffle, and the brown/white girl is called Friendly. they love to explore, and i like it when they climb on my shoulder and stop to have a clean before exploring more.

Do you have children? If so how many of each sex?
no children. hehehe.

Are you married, single, divorced or remarried?
single!

Did you go to college? If so for how long?
i didn't.

Do you pray before going to bed?
i don't believe in a god. i think there is too much wrongness out here for it to be true.

friday memes

2004-07-16T19:04:00.000Z

four for friday

Do you adhere to any superstitions?
no, im not a superstitious person at all. i dont really know many superstitions, apart from about walking under ladders and friday 13th. friday 13th has never given me any bad luck at all, and it's more dangerous walking around ladders, becose that often means walking in the road. a lot of our pavements are narrow.

The Opening Ceremony of the 2004 Summer Olympic Games is less than 30-days away. Are you planning on watching any of the Olympics on television? If so, which events are you most looking forward to?
yes! i plan to watch the gymnastics. me and my sister will be fighting for TV time when its on, because she likes the athletics part of it. so i will be watching that, too. but its the gymnastics, bars and floor that i am most looking forward to.

How many times per week do you do laundry (said differently, how often do you do laundry)?
once or twice.

If you could get paid to do something that you've always wanted to do but didn't think was possible to get paid to do, what would it be that you'd do?
i would like to get paid to take plane and train rides to review the services, and i would like to be able to choose which journeys to take. it's really sad becose i dont really have many amitions or anything like that.

friday five

What color ink pen do you like best?
pink for writing letters, and either black ink or lead pencil for writing stories.

Do you prefer plain paper or paper with lines (notebook paper)?
plain paper for letters, and lined for stories.

What's better: books from the library, or reading online?
books from the library. i like to lay down when i read, or even read outside in the park. i like the feel of paper, and the smell of really old paper. i like the sound of silence and then the pages turning, over the sound of a hum of a computer.

Which would you rather get, e-mail or snail mail?
snail mail, every time. although i like the easiness and cheapness of email, so i dont mind most of my contact being here.

Do you have a paper weight on your desk?
no. will you send me one? i want one.

these were great questions. these were the best i've had in a while. they were more ME!

Friday's Feast

Appetizer Make a sentence using the letters of your favorite color. (Example: BLUE - Bob loves using eggs.)
pink: pink is not kinetic.

Soup If you were to be stranded on a deserted island and could only have one CD to listen to, which one would you want it to be?
um, i think i would make a complation of bjork, cranberries, alanis and norah jones. i would be sad to not have any whole albums of theirs, but could live with a couple of songs from each.

Salad How many people have you kissed in your lifetime?
hehehehehehehe. i have kissed maybe 2 or 3 friends, but not on the lips. im only 9!

Main Course Someone offers to give you $2 million, but says you can only have it if you will give half of it to charity. Which good cause would you donate the $1 million to?
NSPCC

Dessert What would you like to name your next pet?
that's really not a fair question! it takes time to choose a name for a pet, depending on his/her character. um, i like the name Cimmaron. i think that would be nice for an animal.

Furry Friday

Do your pets act differently when you don't feel well? If so, how?
the guinea pigs do. they seem quieter when someone here is sick, and more wanting to cuddle. the mice are no different.

How do you comfort your pet when it doesn't feel well?
lots more love and snuggles than usual, and lots of good fresh food for it (unless it has diarrhea). if possible, they go to a quieter area, and sometimes they can have a hot water bottle to lay on if they need it.

What's the scariest health moment you've had with a pet?
when swift got cancer. unfortunatly, she didnt recover.

wednesday meme(s)

2004-07-14T11:32:00.000Z

http://bdinsanity.blogdrive.com/

An artist paints your portrait while you are engaging in one of your favorite activities...what would you be doing? What would the title of the portrait be?
i would be sitting at a desk writing letters. the desk would be messy with opened mail that i am busy writing back to. there would be an old-fashioned ink well and i'll be using a quill (even though i dont have either and cant write in script). there will be some fresh cut daisies nearby. i think a good title would be samantha scribbles.

You come in a bottle and you have magical properties, what are you? Examples: genie, pancake syrup, etc... What would be on your instruction label?
i would be very fine silver glitter. the instructions would say "sprinkle sparingly for a burst of joy".

You've just been selected as a poster child for a make-believe organization. What is the organization and why have they specifically chosen you?
the organisation is 'save the wildflowers' and they chose me becose it was a compition for children and what they have done in their local community. i won becose i organised lots of areas to be left uncut, and i also gave out packets of wildflower seeds to lots of kids to put in their patch of the garden.

"You can fly, you can fly, you can fly"! ...and you are NOT Peter Pan! Who or what are you?
im a dove. :)

If you had a vanity horn on your vehicle (one which plays a song) what song would your horn blow to announce your arrival?
'Mr Postman' by the Carpenters!

meme borrowed from LJ

2004-06-30T08:37:00.000Z

What are you doing just now?
having a healthy breakfast, and getting ready to feed and clean out the guinea pigs.

What was the stupidest thing you did last week?
i didnt do anything last week!

What would you like to do just now?
i would like to put the dream from the night before last into words. i tried a little yesterday but it wasnt being helpful.

What was the best thing that happened last week?
taking a train ride. we dont do that often.

What’s the weather like?
semi-overcast and cool but not cold.

What delights does the day hold?
watching my big sister (Anna) go for a driving lesson, and finishing the mail that i started writing yesterday.

Are you excited about meeting someone special today?
nope.

Which song do you have in your head at the moment?
Good Riddence by Green Day. big sis is playing it.

fridays memes

2004-06-25T21:23:00.000Z

fridays feast

Appetizer: Briefly describe your living room.
pale walls, pale carpets and rugs, furniture is all IKEA, mostly white/birch, and finished with purple textiles.

Soup: List 3 things you'd like to accomplish before the end of 2004.
1) finish the gift im making for Greta.
2) write a really good childrens short story.
3) have more goals to accomplish.

Salad: When you're online, what do you spend the most time reading/playing/doing? Suggest a site for us to visit.
i spend most of my time talking in forums or reading/writing blogs. visit Delphi Forums and find an interesting topic to talk about. there is something for everyone.

Main Course: What would the title of your autobiography be?
Samantha Scribbles!

Dessert: What time do you usually go to bed?
well actually, there isn't a 'usual' time for me. sometimes i secretly stay up until the sun rises in the morning, but i guess it's 'usually' between 8pm and 1am depending on how kind my big sis is feeling. hehehehe. i can sometimes bribe her into letting me stay up late without it being secret.

im feeling a bit empty today. sorry this wasn't a wonderful entry.

friday memes

2004-06-18T13:21:00.000Z

friday fiver

Around the world in 80 days...

Have you ever traveled beyond the country that you were born in?
well we're not even living in that country anymore! so i guess so. :)

How many different residences have you lived in since you were born? ... Which abode was the best?
i'm not sure how many, but there was about 11 or 12 i guess. the best would be here and now. this is the first completly alone and self contained. :)

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
well it would be nice to be nearer to friends. lots of friends are around IL and MA and FL, so in USA somewhere east-ish would be good cos then we are in visiting range to all of them.

Name your preferred method of transportation:
trains!

Jackie Chan: Hip or hype?
hype!

friday foofah

Smelly!

Favorite men's perfume / favorite women's perfume?
CK1 which is unisex :)

Favorite natural smell?
honeysuckle

Most noxious odor known to mankind?
um... sour milk, rotting meat, fart gas...

Cinamon chewing gum - armpit odor or sweet goodness?
SWEET GOODNESS! gimmie more!

Deodorants and antiperspirants - civilized necessities or deadly chemical cocktails?
civilized necessities. being on the london underground in summertime rush-hour, all those raise arms, a pit in your face. YUK! if people didn't use deodorant everyone would pass out before they got to their stop!

friday's feast

Appetizer: What kind of car do you drive? If you could make an even trade for any other car, what would you want to drive?
i would like a beetle bug. but i cant drive, so dont think im ever going to get one!

Soup: Take your phone number and add each number together separately (example: 8+6+7+5+3+0+9=38) - what's the total?
33

Salad: When were you last outside, and what were you doing?
this morning, and shopping for uncle doug's birthday, paying a bill, and buying hay for the guinea pigs.

Main Course: What is your favorite restaurant, and what do you usually order there?
pizza hut! i usually order a cheese supreme with chargrilled chicken. YUMMY! i never order pepperoni at pizza hut, even though it's my favourite, as that's the one i like delivered from dominos.

Dessert: Name 3 things in which you occasionally indulge.
1. PIZZA! okay that's more than occasional. hehehehe.
2. we dont have Dr. Pepper very often at home because it's a full sugar drink, and we usually only drink diet. so it is an occasional indulgence to have a bottle of full-fat Dr. Pepper.
3. the chocolate cake in starbucks. it's the richest chocolate cake ever, and a BIG slice, so that's a occasional treat, too.

friday furry

Have you ever owned an "exotic" animal? If so, what was it?
no, never. but a friend used to have geckos, and 2 other friends keep turtles. :)

Reptiles, your thoughts.... "I love them!" or "EWWWW SLIMY!!"?
i love them! a lizard would be such a cool pet to have. i'd like an iguana that would roam free around the house, and sit on the radiator.

If you were an exotic reptile what kind would you be (Describe yourself as much as you'd like.)? And why?
i would be a yellow grass snake. is that exotic? it proberbly isn't, but that's what i'd like to be if i was a reptile. i'd like to be roaming through the grass and suddenly coming across people having a picnic. i'd move slyly and quietly and then give them a fright. then i'd slide off again really fast. if i were a snake i would be sly and mischievous! because it's the only time i could be. unless i was a monkey or an orangutan. but then i wouldn't be sly, only a mischievous pest.

tuesday memes

2004-06-15T10:55:00.000Z

in other words...

"I don't want to control everything, I just want people and events to mold to my desires!" -- Tino Tonitini

if it were me, i would change it slightly.

"I don't want to control everything, I want people and events to mold my desire!"

see the difference? it was a bit selfish, and shows someone who has a closed mind. people and events are always changing, and we can get more from absorbing the change and learning new ways, than we can in keeping everything the same, and having people/events fulfill our sole desire. imagine if he could do that. what would he desire if he were able to mould these people and events? he would have everything he ever wanted. there would be nothing to look forward to, nothing new to learn. i would hate that.

sometimes, it's difficult accepting the changes around us. that's why i changed the quote. easy doesnt always mean right or good. i would like to take the difficult changes, and hope that they changed me. helped me to grow and learn. help me to fulfill my own desires as best i can, and while im doing that, i've got time to see more, learn more, desire more. i'll never get exactly what i want, but if i did, i dont think i'd actually be very happy.

tuesday twosome

Let's go swimming...

"Beach, Baby!" or "Pool, please"?
beach, baby! it has to be beach. want sandcastles!

"Check me out!" or "Does anyone have a tent I can wear?"
does anyone have a tent i can wear? or shorts and t-shirt would be good. :)

"Deep end of the pool" or "Floaties are my friend"
deep end of the pool! want to dive to the bottom and see the light going through the water. want to see peoples legs and feet kicking. i want to move and swim, not just lay about on top!

"SPF 45, hat and glasses, please" or "Tan, tan, tan"
SPF 45, hat and glasses, please. i burn easily. :(

"I like to people watch" or "Hand me a book and leave me alone."
i like to people watch. the beach is for hanging out and having fun! you can read in your garden if that's all you're going to do.

monday memes

2004-06-14T08:29:00.000Z

the monday memes for today are all a bit naff.

naff
adj. Chiefly British Slang

Unstylish, clichéd, or outmoded.

[Possibly of dialectal origin.]

we're already too warm here. we've been doing the morning chores which is cleaning out the hutches and giving the boys a run. now im all sticky and need a shower. i saw iona taking her girl to school while outside, and waved. her daughter was dressed in pink and skipping with a bright coloured rope. her daughter fell in love with cassius when they took care of our piggies, and then the next time fell in love with friendly the mouse. it's almost dangerous leaving our pets with them, as we don't know if we'll get them back!

there's a cartoon that i like called Arthur. it was on this morning, and i tuned in just in time to see it. i wish i hadnt. there was the most annoying song being played over and over, and now it's stuck in my head. i also love to watch Hey Arnold! but that isnt usually on in the mornings. oh good, by telling you that, i got the Hey Arnold! theme in my head instead of that annoying song.

daily dirt

2004-06-13T18:30:00.000Z

daily dirt

Looks

Do you care about looks?
not really. i think it's important to be clean and tidy, but it doesnt matter what colour your hair is, or if you spend hours looking like a magazine model with make-up or not.

Do you like the way you look?
i've just learned to live with it. i dont like it, but i dont hate it.

What do you see first when you look at some one?
usually their shirt. im always looking at peoples shirts. there are some funny ones out there.

Do you judge your friends based on looks?
no, not at all. but most of my friends i met online so i get to judge and know them as people before i get a chance to see their looks.

If some one looked mean would you take the chance to get to know them?
i dont know. it depends where i met them. i have got to know some mean looking people in art, but we're all grouped together, so there isnt a choice. i wouldnt approach someone if they looked mean right out of the blue, though. but i think a mean person looks mean for a reason.

we grow into our faces and postures depending upon the things we do and react to. if you look mean, you've proberbly been scowling a lot. why? if you have laughter lines, you proberbly laugh a lot. so, when it comes to looking mean, i think i would avoid that person.

unconscious mutterings

2004-06-13T09:10:00.000Z

unconscious mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

Colorblind ... traffic lights
Shallow ... water
Erotica ... at the back
Figment ... imagination
Eviction ... order
Composed ... judge
Chill ... slang
Girl ... guides
California ... breeze
Bond ... trust

weekly bit

2004-06-13T08:54:00.000Z

a late weekly bit

A 'Bit' About You

Describe yourself, use 3 words
energetic. creative. friendly.

What are your best traits?
im lighthearted, and can usually make people smile, even when they're sad. im always considerate of other people.

What are your worst traits?
i can get too attached, and really dont like it when a person doesnt keep their word. i get too excited sometimes when its inappropriate.

What annoys you the most?
going out to do/get something, and not being able to complete the task! i get so frustrated.

Who is your hero?
jessica. she's amazing.

How many languages do you speak?
i only speak one. but i understand a little bit of italian and german.

What is your goal in life?
to not give up.

Do you daydream? About what?
not so much. if i have time to daydream, i normally get out my LOTR journal, and write things. i guess im daydreaming on paper! if it is, then it's about all different things. i like writing stories for other children. sometimes, i get them to give me a name, or an animal, and i'll write a story for them using what they've given me. :) i do things like that more than daydream.

Fav books?
A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett, Sabriel by Garth Nix, Switchers by Kate Thompson, and The Red Tree by Shaun Tan.

Fav films?
A Little Princess, Shrek, Save the Last Dance, Princess Diaries.

Best childhood memories?
visiting boston. no question about it. i'll write about it someday soon. :)

What inspires you most?
my hero. :)

first four

2004-06-13T08:35:00.000Z

first four

What are the first four things you think of when I say: Writers

1. Julia Cameron. she has written some really great books that help a person start writing. when im stuck, i open up one of them, and randomly find an excercise to do. sometimes, i like to just read her paragraphs. she makes writing sound so easy, such a pleasure, that even if you're not 'into' writing, you'd want to give it a go.

2. moulin rouge. i can picture the writer, sitting in france with such a beautiful backdrop. he's staring at his typewriter. then the words start to flow, and he cant stop them, even if he wanted.

3. coffee houses. i see students and out of work novelists, nursing a giant cold coffee, pen in hand, but staring into space. no wonder you're struggling, you're trying too hard.

4. survivors. i often read autobiographies of people who have suffered trauma. im always amazed at how they can take you by the hand, and show you how they climbed out of the depths of darkness, as if you were with them the whole time. they have a skill that other autobiography authors cannot replicate.

sunday brunch

2004-06-13T08:25:00.000Z

sunday brunch

How do you usually celebrate your birthday?
normally we have an outing somewhere. sometimes it's a few days before or after my birthday, but we do go out. my birthday is in spring, so it often is our first outdoor day-trip of the year. the day is then finished off with pizza - my favourite food.

Do you ever lie about your age?
i dont need to!

What is your favorite flavor(s) of cake and ice cream?
ice cream is coconut, cake is carrot.

Have you ever completely forgotten the birthday of a family member or friend?
yes i have. it was awful when i finially remembered. but they were very forgiving.

What was the most memorable birthday party you've attended?
wow, that's a difficult one. i haven't been to many birthday parties, but i i remember Emma C's 10th birthday. it was held at her house, and i remember everyone being in her garden, and then it rained. we all stayed outside anyway. :)

the beach

2004-06-12T20:01:00.000Z

Writing Idea 3

Use the following lines to begin a story of your own.

The beach was quiet that day, too quiet. It was as if the air was holding its breath, waiting for the thing that was about to happen.

the sand was flat and lifeless, not daring to sparkle in the hazy sunlight and the sun didnt dare be warm. it was as if everything the beach was - was in hiding.

only the ocean moved - but silently. it crept up the shore slowley not wanting the mangroves to no it was coming. the air stayed still - it wanted to move, to get out of the way. but being air, it couldnt. so instead it stayed perfectly still, frozen in place by fear of the ocean.

the mangroves knew what was comming. they'd known for a long time that this day would come. when the sun rose that morning lacking warmth, when the air suddenly stopped, when the sand lost its shine, they knew that today was the day.

but they still swayed, just like they did every other day. it didnt matter that there was no breeze today like there usually is, they swayed anyway. they wasnt going to let the ocean see their fear. they wouldnt give the ocean that satisfaction. the mangroves had done nothing wrong - it was an unfair battle, the ocean is bigger - so it thought it was better. the mangroves had been weakening under the power of man. the ocean saw an easy target - and decided to use that to show the world how strong and powerful it is.

the mangroves were getting tired. it wasnt easy to sway without the breeze going through them. but like a well-trained army, they continued swaying in formation sticking together for strength and for comfort.

the tide was coming in fast, the ocean getting closer. no man or beast had been to the beach that day, as if they too knew that something was going to happen.

the water got closer - started touching at the roots of the mangroves, but still the mangroves swayed stayed together. they started humming, the first sound to be heard on the beach that day - they hummed and the ocean stopped, just for a moment. but it was long enough. the mangroves noticed the pause, and realized that the ocean wasnt expecting anything other than defeat - that it was defenatly shocked to have heard any protest.

so they kept on humming. at first it was out of sync with each other - they would hum to their own heartbeats - but their heartbeat, hums and swaying soon fell into a rythem, and as the ocean drew further into the mangroves, they would hum louder, and sway harder - they were showing that they would not die quietly.

a breeze stirred. weather it was from the amount of swaying the mangroves were doing that stirred it, or if it was the airs own free will, nobody can ever no. but it stirred, and then continued going. the breeze whistled to the mangroves, in tune with the humming, and the mangroves pulled in closer together to form a wall. the breeze grew into a wind and swept infront of the mangroves pushing outwards against the ocean.. the ocean was furious, and tried to muster up waves. no way was a mangrove going to beat it! a simple land-based plant! never! but the ocean had no wind on its side, only the gentel pull of the moon, and even the moon was turning a blind eye. the sun brightend onto the sand, and the sand moved - a mile ou to sea, the sand left leaving a crevice behind, and worked its way up to the mangroves. they helped fill the gaps and stopped any more sea from getting in to drown the mangroves. the mangroves were humming so loud at this point it was almost defening! they hummed and pushed and held together. the wind blew and blew, and the ocean had no place to go but back... and into the crevice the sand had left behind!

away the ocean went, defeated. but the mangroves were still in trouble! the sand quickly retreated, allowing what water had got in to drain out, and the warm warm sun dryed up the rest of it. the wind died down, but continued whisteling, the mangroves stretched out once again, humming gently as they went, and the sand spread itself accross the beach.

the ocean was silent and still now. not able to advance, not able to retreat any further. the wind whistled to the mangroves, and the mangroves hummed to the sand. they decided to leave the ocean as it was for a day and a night, to teach it a lesson, but then they'd set it free. they had to - the mangroves relied on its enemy to stay alive - they could only hope the ocean wouldnt hold a grudge for loosing, and decide to keep going with the tides each day.

the ocean still holds a lot of power, and the mangroves are aware of that. they are okay, for now, but they need to tread carefully.

-May 2003

fragment

2004-06-12T19:05:00.000Z

fragment

she woke up to a loud crash of metal on metal. she didn't even want to know what was going on downstairs. still, she knew she'd better take a look. there was no way anyone could pretend not to have heard it.

she threw back the covers, and stumbled to the mirror. a shaggy young girl with grey eyes and a shock of fair bed-ridden hair looked back at her. "good morning, allie" she groaned, and made way for the stairs.

in the kitchen, the dogs were waiting patiently by the door, ears perked, tails wagging. as she approached, the smaller of the two wound itself around her legs, just a blur of black and brown. the larger one jumped up, placing its golden paws onto the door handle, trying to let itself out. "just a minute!" she exclaimed, trying to turn the key, whilst pushing his head out of the way.

she let them out, and finally turned around to see what was happening to make such a racket. delilah, their housekeeper of many years, looked at allie with worry. a stout lady, normally wearing a warm smile, with huge wrinkled eyes and pudgy arms, she had a tear in her eye as she held the many pots and pans that must have been the cause of all the noise.

"oh miss, i dint mean t' wake you. did ma'am hear? 'm i in trouble?"

"i'll sort it out. was it the dogs? what happened?" she asked as she helped put everything away. delilah said she had a dizzy spell while hunting for the bread tin for breakfast. it wasnt the first time this had happened, and allie was worried. she hated the idea of losing delilah, and also knew that delilah needed to keep this job to support her own children. she has a girl the same age as allie, and a boy two years younger. allie asked about him.

"he keeps askin for gram! no matter how hard i try, i cant make him understand that gram aint a'comin back." allie nods sadly. she would often see those two around the town. 'gram' was the only person he would feel happy with, and now he would fight and throw tantrums before leaving his house. he was born with learning difficulties, something their family struggled to deal with. they loved the boy, and refused to give him up, or give up on him, no matter what the authorities said was best.

allie ran her hand through her matted hair, and vowed she would protect delilah and her family, no matter what. she could only dream of having a family as loving as theirs, and hoped that they would love her, as much as she loved them.

the creature and the mouse

2004-06-10T06:14:00.000Z

As the creature looked around the dark, drab stairway, it caught in its sight a mouse, not so unlike the kind you see in the pet store. Only, this mouse had dark eyes, eyes that he could tell had seen some horrors, and they had sorrowful tears at their edges. The mouse, once white, now wore a coat of dirt; it's fur dull, gritted from dust. Its tail was unnaturally short, and the only evidence of its pet store past, was its dainty nose, whiskers protruding proudly from its snout. The mouse looked at the creature with only slight interest, but the creature looked back with curiosity, aware that the mouse could show him the way he needed to go. The creature was ever aware of the stairway, looming above, daunting. He had to get to the top, this much he knew. He edged towards the mouse, dragging his own tail - a thick stumpy limb, covered so completely with grime that you couldn't see if it had hair or not - until he was just a few inches from the mouse.

The mouse was still unconcerned - she knew she had agility, and was faster than the creature - and only now paid real interest to the creature. The creature spoke.

“Have you seen others of my kind go past?”

The sound it made was unsurprisingly harsh, fitting exactly his appearance. With its small angular mouth and crooked teeth (what remained of them) he gargled, rather than spoke.

The mouse looked at the creature, a stumpy, wart infested mammal, no bigger than a kitten, but moving on two short legs, using its tail for balance; its forelimbs missing a joint, protruding at a disconcerting angle. This thing is dirtier than myself, the mouse thought, looking at him with cautious eyes.

The creature waited for the mouse impatiently, shifting from leg to leg, gazing up the dark, damp staircase. Finally, the mouse nodded, and made her way to the first step.

“I’ll show you,” she whispered with her soft voice, “but keep quiet.”

The mouse started to climb quickly, one step, two. But even though the creature was several times her size, he was ungainly, and was still pulling himself up the first step with those odd forelimbs and few teeth. The mouse, knowing there was no other way to go, waited patiently (and again, with little interest) for the creature to make its way up. The creature heaved its way slowly but surely, until finally, it was at the last step.

fairy story (an early one)

2004-06-10T06:12:00.000Z

I was out walking the dog, when I saw a fairy sitting on a leaf of a blossom. Yes, that’s a small fairy, but I was wearing Anna’s glasses which are too strong for me so I could see extra small things really easily.

The fairy was sitting on the pink blossom leaf whistling a tune I have never heard before. I asked her what the tune was, and she said it was a fairy song, and that I would never remember it in my lifetime. No human born person does, she said.

So I told her that I wasn’t a human born person, that I wasn’t born like most people she sees. I told her that I was 8 even tho I looked older and a part of a multiple family, and we were unique. I told her that if I tried really really hard, I could remember the tune.

She looked at me with wonder, and her eyes changed colour. I didn’t say anything about that, but I waited to see what her reaction was gonna be.

The fairy looked at me from head to toe, and said “you don’t look older than 8.”

The dog was pulling at the chain but I really wanted to stay with the fairy. I told her that too. I wanted to know what she saw, and ask her to whistle her tune again so I could remember it.

She then told me she knew a special song that would allow me to see her world. She said she was just visiting the blossom fairies, but they were too busy making the blossoms fall prettily to talk to her today. So I said can I bring Nino, the dog?

She laughed a magical laugh and when she did Nino got smaller and smaller and his eyes got brighter and then he was a puppy again. “Put him in your pocket” she said. So I did.

Then she laughed again and her eyes changed colour again and I felt all funny.. my toes were tingling, but it wasn’t a ticklish tingle or an itchy tingle… it was just a tingle, that crept up my legs and past my tummy and down my arms. Then my head started spinning. “Is this normal?” I yelped. “Oh, it’s just for show” she said, “travelling to my world you don’t feel anything. I thought this would be more exciting.” I grinned and my head slowly stopped spinning.

With the puppy in my pocket, I looked around to see that there was nothing but cloud around me. But I seemed to be standing on a solid surface. “Are we on a mountain?” I asked. She looked at me and smiled. Under my feet she pushed aside cloud and I saw the Earth below. “How comes it feels so firm?” She smiled again but didn’t give an answer.

All this time she was whistling, and finally she stopped. I couldn’t remember the tune! I didn’t want to admit that to her tho. So instead I asked about her eyes.

“Oh, that.” That was all she said about that.

“So how comes you can see me, and not the body I have to live in?”
“How comes there is a puppy in your pocket?” The fairy replied smugly.

I heard some laughter in the distance and the laughter must have been magical, because with each new laugh there was a star dancing above us. I couldn’t figure out why I could see the stars, cos it was moning daylight. But I could. I figured it was magic again.

The laughing got closer and closer and then I could see fairies approaching. They were bigger than the one I had been talking to!

My fairy friend looked a little scared, and said I’d have to leave very soon. But she said to look out for her tomorrow.

The bigger fairies came right up to us, and stopped laughing. The stars stopped dancing, and faded away. They looked at my fairy friend and said “Aurella, you know better than to bring humans here.” “But she’s not human” Aurella replied. I found that answer really very funny. “We’ll talk about this later.. but send her home now.” The big fairies all nodded at me in a Go Away manner, and Aurella took me by the hand and walked a few steps.

“Make sure you meet me tomorrow” she said, “and I’ll have made it ok for you to visit. Our clouds make a lovely home and I think you’d like playing here.”

“How old are you?” I asked, still wondering more about the eyes.
“I’m 8 too.” She smiled.

Then, without the tingling and the head spinning, I was back under the blossom tree with a fully grown Nino, whistling the first tune I heard her whistle. I thanked her aloud for the tune, and wondered why she let me see her. Because I couldn’t see the blossom fairies she’d mentioned.

Playing with Nino… I kept whistling the tune and we had fun till it was time to go back. I can’t wit for tomorrow.

7

2004-06-10T06:08:00.000Z

i am 7 years old, and i am living in a housing estate with my mother and my sister. from afar, the estate looks salmon pink. the outer building walls are a strange, lumpy-sandy mixture, and i don't know what gives it it's colour. my flat number is 327, and that's only about halfway on our side. there has to be near a thousand people living in this estate. our flat is on level 3, the highest level. to get to it, you usually walk through the shop square downstairs, then across the bridge that goes over the parking lot below ground. there are two of these bridges, one to our lift, and the other that my best friend will walk across to get to her level. if it isn't pink, it's grey concrete. the internal walls, the floors, the stairs. the lifts are small, but normally clean, although there is often graffiti on the walls, and sometimes the light is out. our apartment is along a concrete walkway about 15 meters from the lift. there is a sort of alcove between our front door (which is right on the walkway) and the lift, and in that alcove, are two more front doors. i've never seen the people who live in those doors.

as you go into our flat, there is a small entrance with a bookshelf along the wall facing the door, then some stairs. to the right, behind the banister, a storage hollow, and under-stairs cupboard. the stairs are carpeted. 3 steps, then a right turn with a window on the left, then another 15 or so steps. at the top, you turn right again, and are facing a corridor. the first room on the right is my sisters bedroom. a mess. always a mess. mother doesn't like that but sister doesn't care. she's not afraid to rebel, anymore. the second door on the right is my room, where im sitting right now. the last room, door straight ahead but the room then turns to the right, is mothers room.

opposite sisters door is another alcove (the designer must have really been font of these) with two doors in it - one to the bathroom, and one to the toilet. the bathroom is the length of the bath, bath on the far wall, with a sinks width in front of it, to your right. the toilet is only a toilet, with just enough room for an adult to move and sit down. both the rooms have lockable hollow wooden doors, but above the doors are a pane of glass. probably because there are no windows in these two rooms, so if there were a blackout, or you were locked in...

next on the left is the freezer, positioned next to a doorway without a door. this doorway leads to the dining room. there is a 6 person oval brown glass table with brass legs, with brass and upholstery dining chairs surrounding it. on the left wall is another bookshelf. behind you now is a display cabinet, and a cupboard built into the wall. behind the table is a large window that looks out onto our small, concrete balcony. they are talking about fitting glass roofs to the balconies, but right now, it's just open. because of the design of the estate, the people living around the corner can see onto our balcony, and we can see onto theirs. if we were to look, we and they could also see each others living rooms. the living room is to the right, through the dining room. it's a little bit bigger than the dining room. the TV is the focal point, and frequently changes position. right now, it's in the nearest corner on the left. there is a blue 3 piece suite in there, and some coffee tables.

to the left of the dining room is the kitchen. a square room, with beige wall units on the left hand wall. the sink faces the doorway, and looks onto nothing but paint. the window is on the right, and there is a washer/dryer and some standing room in front of it.

im in my bedroom. it's evening. sister is 4 years older than me. she should be home taking care of me, but she is brave. she went out with her school friends. mother is out. i think she's at work but im not sure. in my bedroom, i have a traditional school desk, one of those lift up top ones, where you can put your books and pencils inside. i've written all over the desk, and doodled. i don't know if it was newly mine, or came from a school. i don't know if all the writing and doodling is mine or not. but i don't care. enough of it is. sister has one of these desks as well, but you'd never find it under all of her stuff.

no, im not at my desk. im sitting on my windowsill. it must be nearly autumn. the few trees on the road behind the shopping square are fairly full of leaves. they may be changing colour, but the light is starting to fade and im not sure. i can feel the cool glass against my bare arm as i lean on the window. outside, i see my best friend out playing with her brother. she is a year younger than me, and her brother a year older than sister. i think it's unfair they're allowed out to play at this hour, and we are supposed to be in bed. where is sister? im scared for her.

best friend is laughing. she doesn't know shes my best friend. i haven't told her. i know im not hers. but that's okay. she's laughing, and im jealous. but it also makes me happy to hear her laugh. it reminds me that she isn't very far away. she's never very far away. she used to be the one on the balcony across from ours, but her parents swapped with those now people, and made her move downstairs, around the corner. we used to talk across balconies when our mothers were hanging out their washing. sometimes, on warmer nights when her mother had the door open to let in the breeze, she used talk to me and sister who were locked out on the balcony by mother for being bad. sister and i didn't mind it so much in the summer when it was warm, when best friend could show us things through the railings. sometimes she'd even try to throw things all the way to us, and sometimes she missed and the things would be lost forever in another persons garden. that's when i knew she was my best friend. when she would try to cheer us up.

sister and i knew the season was changing when we were locked out there, and best friends door was closed. we could tell then, before we could feel it in the concrete. concrete holds the warmth, and the cold, very, very well.

the sun is setting now, definitely. i can hear mothers and fathers all over the estate, calling out to their kids to come in from play. some have to have a bath, some for supper, some have homework, and some have to go to bed already, like us. mother will be home soon, too. where is sister?

i look around my room. i have proudly placed the desk in the centre of my room. i like my desk. i like that it's covered with words and doodles. i like that it has teeny-tiny holes in it, like it's had woodworm, but probably from a protractor. as im sitting on the windowsill, my favourite place to be even before the desk, my feet are resting on my bed. a child's bed with storage underneath. the storage is the base, with sliding doors. sometimes, i climb inside under there, and pretend im crawling, crawling, crawling through caves so far, nobody will ever find me. then i'll come out on the other side, and there will be an orchard that goes on nearly forever. except, i find my way through, and there is a whole other world over there. a better world where nobody gets hurt.

right now though, all my books and teddies are under there. i had a bookshelf with lots of picture books and some Enid Blyton, but i don't know where that went. so to keep a tidy happy room, all my books are in storage under the bed. i don't have many teddies, but mother only lets there be one out, anyway, so the others are always away either under the bed, or in my wardrobe.

i have a built-in wardrobe. its opposite me where im sitting, behind the bedroom door. it's built-in, and sister has one right behind it in her room, and our beds fit just perfect along the wall after it, so its like the bed is recessed. along the other wall i have a box and a tall dresser. in the box are colouring books, pens, pencils, and some board-games. i have a single Barbie-doll that we bought at a car boot sale, a baby doll, and some ponies. all in the box. keep the floor clean.

the dresser has 3 drawers at the bottom, a recessed mirror, and a top-cupboard. i don't like it very much. i don't use the dresser, other than to keep my underwear and jumpers in. i tried to put pictures over the mirror, but wasn't allowed. one time, the dresser fell on me. i was too afraid to call out for help. i think it banged my head, because i cant remember how it fell. i lay on the floor trying to take things out to lighten the weight, to then push it up enough to crawl out. i couldn't do it. sister came in and found me, called mother, who wasn't amused. she walked away, and sister helped push the dresser back up again. i never kept jumpers in it again after that, in case it fell again.

it's really dark now. sister shouldn't be out. she's only 11. where my best friend lives to the right of where im sitting, her best friend lives to the left. i wonder is she over there now. there are still kids out, but they are all big kids from secondary school or college. im feeling hungry. there is no sign of mother, and even if she comes while im in the kitchen, she needs to park underground, so i have at least 7 minutes. i run to the kitchen, and look in the fridge. there are peach-melba yoghurts. yuck! i hate peach-melba. i look in the cupboards, and find some wagon wheels. i take one, and a slice of bread, and run back to the bedroom. in case mother drove in as i was in the kitchen, i hide the food in my desk, and wait 10 minutes to make sure she's not around.

im home alone, but im not scared for myself. mother will be tired when she gets home. i did all the cleaning that she wrote down on her list, but she wont check until the morning, anyway. tonight i will get some sleep. tomorrow is a school day. my only worry is sister. mother will chain the door is she's home first and sister isn't here. but sister will have pebbles in her pocket. she will reach back and throw them at my window, and i will let her in. but i still worry. i worry that mother will stop me one day. i know she can hear me. mother hears and knows everything. i worry i wont be able to let her in, and she'll never ever come home. im scared she'll leave me here forever.

i hear footsteps. did mother drive in when i was in the kitchen? i hold my breath. i wonder should i find somewhere better to hide the food? i wait... the footsteps stop underneath me. our bedrooms overhang the walkways to the doors. it's our door. there's a key. i jump down quickly and get into bed, right under the covers. i curl up and pretend to be asleep.

the door closes downstairs, and i hear bounding. it's sister! she bounds the stairs while mother takes them slowly and heavily. i climb out of bed and peek around my door. sister is in her room with her door closed. she wont say hi, but im happy she's home. it's been long enough and i still haven't seen or heard any cars. all is good for tonight. i grab the bread and wagon wheel, and take them into bed. after eating, the wagon wheel wrapper is put into my coat pocket, i can throw that away tomorrow.

sisters room is quiet. i bet she's wearing her headphones. that's okay. mother still isn't home but everything is as it is supposed to be, so now i can go to sleep, where i dream of the caves under the bed, and the better world on the other side.

- some of dax

jacky the dog

2004-06-10T06:07:00.000Z

Jacky the dog was waiting patently by the river. it was early morning and the baby unicorns were playing games in the cool water and having fun splashing her. the mountains were behind her and she could see them reflected in the river water. the water was moving slowly today and sparkled more than usual because of the little unicorns playing in it.

Jacky watched with interest and pride. her young friends were growing so fast! she knew that soon they would have to say goodbye to her, as they had to join in all the duties adult unicorns take care of. but for now, they were playing, and Jacky was happy watching over them.

but it was soon time to be going. the water had all the sparkles it could hold for that day, and the mist in the mountains had blown away, so they had to return for the daylight hours. it was safer for the young ones in the mountains in the day time than by the river. man wasnt a believer in unicorns and did not like it when they saw them. that is why Jacky would supervise them and make sure they got back safe again.

so they set off, the biggest in the lead and Jacky at the back making sure there was no stragglers. she looked back quickly and said goodbye to the cool river with its sparkles and then looked at the walk ahead. it wasnt far for any of them, but it was beautiful. there was birds still singing in the trees, and grasshoppers who stopped hopping to watch the unicorns go by. jacky felt pride inside her for her young ones :) everyone stopped to admire them, except the birds - the birds sang a special song for them to dance to. so she watched her unicorns dance and listened to the birds sing. she nodded hello to the grasshoppers (who never hid for her like they do other animals) and they even passed a goat who stood aside respectfully for Jacky and her group. all the way she saw beautiful colours, and so many shades and shades of these colours. wildflowers and grasses that swayed in the breeze and sang a song of their own.

Jacky was happy. she had the best job in the world, watching over the young ones, leading them to play and leading them to safety, while all the time, they all lived in a beautiful landscape.

she was saddened now to have to say goodbye. she new she would see them all again in a few hours, but it was time for the young unicorns to learn lessons of unicorn life - secrets that not even Jacky could no or understand.

so she said her farewells for the morning and went back down the mountain. who was that old goat? she had to say hello to him, he was new to the mountain!